Posted on 25th May 2011 @ 11:04

Being a father isn’t as easy as many people think. There is a lot more to the job than waiting for the child to grow up so that the dad can bounce them on his shoulders; dads should be involved from day one of the baby’s life, changing nappies, playing, dressing etc, but also feeding.

Of course it’s easier said than done in many situations, but there are far too many excuses put in the way of this vital and rewarding bonding opportunity. These are usually created simply because as human beings we are creatures of habit, and if mum has fed the baby from the moment the baby was born, and doesn’t seem to be having much trouble in this area then very little gets said and the men are often left out because they can’t get in, or they are not particularly interested in doing it.

Paternal bond

The paternal bond is just as important to establish as the maternal one, and once a father has started to establish his paternal bond with his child the whole idea of not being interested in any aspect of the baby’s development, including feeding, will feel very alien indeed.

If a paternal bond isn’t formed from as early an age as possible then the baby may have a problem being separated from the mother in order to be with the father. This alone can cause a father to become very under confident as a parent, and thus begins what we all know too well as the vicious circle; the father can lose interest because he simply can’t do it.

Breast feeding

Of course on of the main culprits that can cause a huge percentage of fathers not to get involved in the feeding process is breastfeeding. The classic reason why breastfeeding gets in the way is because men simply can’t do it of course, and the majority of them don’t look for a solution other than switching the baby onto formula milk; which we all know, despite its obvious nutritional value, is no substitute to breast milk.

The other reason often thrown into the mix is that the mother is often reluctant to give up the process for an evening or more because it would “break the routine” or “mess up the bonding process”, but not least important among these reasons is that once a mother begins to produce breast milk, her breasts will become engorged and painful if she doesn’t get rid of the milk in them at regular intervals; being unable to feed the baby is not only emotionally painful for a breastfeeding mother it’s also very physically painful too.

The solution

These reasons however are in fact the answer to involving dad in the feeding process. The mother needs to relieve the pressure in her breasts and the baby obviously needs the breast milk, but there is no reason why the father can’t feed it to the baby. By using a breast pump, the mother can express the baby’s feed into a bottle in order for the father to do the feeding.

Not only does this allow the father to bond with the baby and enjoy the quality time that comes of feeding the child, it also allows for the mother to spend some time away from the baby and look after her own social life and well being.